angela. grace.
"If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day."
- alex noble
n.
1. a. An occurrence causing widespread destruction and distress; a catastrophe.
b. A grave misfortune.
c. A total Failure. ” -
disaster.
the fact that apparently the government did not grant americorps nccc the amount of money needed for their programs.
the fact that my OCTOBER 6TH start day has now been pushed back to February 2nd!
the fact that i have no idea what i am going to do with my life, when 1 week ago I had every event planned out from where I was going to say goodbye to people this weekend - all the way till when i would be getting married in 2 years.
the fact is that I have no idea which way to turn now. everything i thought i would be doing has now been destroyed and i am completely lost
today my uncle passed away. he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a year ago and now.. a year later, he lost his battle.
my uncle was the smartest, most intelligent man i think i will ever have the honor of knowing. he was a reader, a pastor, a man of God and quite honestly, a second father to me. he watched me grow up and i am so thankful that i was able to see him several times this past year. he was able to meet brent and spend some time conversing with him, which are moments that i know brent & i will always remember.
if i can forever remember a few lessons from my uncle it would probably be to never stop learning. In every moment of every day there is something to be learned. My uncle was constantly reading.. perhaps 3 - 5 books at once. He was the most inspiring man and was the person that i wanted to lead my wedding ceremony.
i have always heard of what an awful disease cancer is. and i always believed it. However, hearing about cancer & then watching someone live through it is completely different. my heart will forever ache for cancer patients. i hope in my lifetime that a cure can be found.
today has been one of those days. one of those absolutely perfect days for absolutely no specific reason at all. i woke up, ran errands, admired and soaked in the AMAZING autumn weather, taught my last swimming lesson in jacksonville, and came home. yet, there is something about today that has been perfect and i have no idea what it is.
it might just be the fact that i am now down to 12 days & a few hours until i leave this city behind. this city that i have grown to love so much and i have experienced everything in. i came to jacksonville an 18 year old girl who thought she knew everything about anything. i am now a 23 year old woman who knows i know nothing, except about what is really valuable in life: family, friends, love.
this past month has been one of the most challenging months i have had to face in quite a while. every aspect of my life has been attacked in one way or another, leaving me rather exhausted and overwhelmed. However, it is now time to pull it all together and gather up every ounce of strength i have for this adventure that lies in front of me. in less than 2 weeks i will beginning the craziest stage of my life that i think i will ever face. 10 months of uncertainty, constant exhaustion, unstable living environments and a measly/pathetic “salary”. All for what? to help people? I must be crazy.
all in all. it is finally starting to sink in that i am leaving…. and i am terrified. I am determined to soak in every minute of the final days i have left in this amazing city. i am determined to make every day feel like a perfect day.
aNg
via the always stunning Big Picture:
A single home is left standing among debris from Hurricane Ike September 14, 2008 in Gilchrist, Texas.
aNg : Texas, <3
A horse grazes beside a house, surrounded by floodwater, near Winnie, Texas after Hurricane Ike, Sunday, Sept. 14, 2008.
aNg:: my heart yearns to be helping these people. T minus 20 days.
Hybrid car parking at IKEA, right after the handicap parking. I wonder when we’ll see “100 percent electric car parking” signs next to these.
aNg:: I LOVE THIS. #1 - because this is at IKEA
#2 - because by August 2009, I will be parking in spots like this! (fingers crossed!)
3 weeks from this moment. i will be in denver… the rest is still unwritten.
i am overwhelmed with feelings of thankfulness for the life that i have.
I am blessed with the most amazing friendships. there are fabulous women in my life who are spread around the country and world (jenniengland), all of which i am honored to have as best friends. it amazes me that i have come to THAT point in one’s life where you may only have the opportunity to see some of your closest friends once a year, if you are lucky. true friendships make it through the miles and years of separation, only to find that once we are all reunited - we are still the same girls we were in high school.
groupies:: summer of 04
i have also found a recent & renewed appreciation and love for my family, most specifically my father. there comes a point in a son/daughter’s life where you realize that its time to return the favor and take care of your parents in the best way possible, just as they have sacrificed a thousand times to take care of us. I have hopes that after i have completed my 10 month AmeriCorps commitment, that I may attend FAU in south Fla to attend Graduate school. I would love to be that much closer to my father as well as an equal distance from Brent’s family. we shall see where life leads.
aNg
